Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
