The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
