Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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