this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
