Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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