i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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