the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
