we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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