Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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