doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize