kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize