I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
