if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
