just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
