Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
