You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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