he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
