Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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