So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
