How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
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This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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