She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
