i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
