What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
