goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize