worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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