whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
