I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
