Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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