you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
