So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
