feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
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I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
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Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
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