I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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