I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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