when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I need moral support for this bender
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
