she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
