ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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