Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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