The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize