i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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