Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
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Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Boobs speak an international language.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
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My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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