? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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