She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
