My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
