ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
