You can't motorboat a personality
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
