She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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