So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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