So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
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You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
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It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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