Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize