He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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