we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i think i have two assholes
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize