i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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