I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
