saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
