he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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