there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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