apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
