I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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