The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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