omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
