if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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