I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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