dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
