Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
